Hello all, how are you liking the Season of Introspection? I am really really deep into it. I love this type of long winded art journaling. It appeals to me. I am also truly enjoying altering my book. I will be sharing a blog post on that very subject later in July.
On to this week's pages. I spent lots of time on this spread for a few reasons. One, there was some perspective I was searching for. Art journaling helps me to process my thoughts and emotions and I needed that, Two, I needed to get these feelings out of me. I started on the left side of week 2's spread.
With black gesso, I covered most of the page and singled out the silhouette of the Black Swan (Odile). I partially cut her out with an exacto knife and folded the page back. I was going to do something else, but then I witnessed something at dinner party recently and I realised I needed to art about it. The page unfolds and is covered in flowers.
These flowers are almost sexual and the theme is of temptation, hence the garden of Eden reference.The offered fruit in the red woman's hand, especially the fact that it is a clementine, is a huge personal symbol in my life, as anyone who attended my wedding knows. If you keep the page folded and turn it, it reveals another woman surrounded by flowers.
I was thinking some nasty thoughts about how easily we take things for granted, how we love as women, how we know our partners so well and how it is easy to be hurt by them. I was also thinking that my thoughts are like flowers and if you choose to feed the negative ones, the ones that hurt, you end up with a damn ugly garden.
When you have been with someone a long time, you must be able to let some things go, to be bigger than petty jealousy, to stay in the love. This is what Beyoncé's Lemonade is about. I feel that people are not understanding Beyoncé's incredible opus because they are focusing on who 'Becky with the good hair' is instead of going through all of the steps she did to get back to a place of love. That is the hardest thing to do when there is a betrayal in a couple. Being woman enough to say, I will not walk away from this, I will not just be angry or hurt, I will be bigger than this event. Because I am worth more. Going through anger, hate, pity, self-deprecation, to get back to love is a soul wrenching process.
If you lift the man's shirt (printed on vellum), there is a flower that grows. It hides the Black Swan in its leaves. The Black Swan who has been hurt before and only awaits to be fed to emerge once more. But you choose to feed it or starve it. Only you.
Every single thing on this two-page spread has significance. It is an illustration/ symbol of something that happened and only I know the story they write. This is art journaling at its purest for me. This is what it is all about.
The second spread tells a part of my own story.
As a child, I was very introverted - or shy as they called it then. I would have little interactions with people unless they were younger than me and I felt 'safe' talking to them (ie not judged).
I found my solace in alternate worlds, in books. I would ride my bicycle to the library and check out 4 books a week and go through all of them. My favorites were the Hardy Boys and I would add myself as one of the brothers' girlfriend (Joe's cause he was the more hot-headed of the two).
I still do this today, I add myself to every story/movie I read/enjoy. I fall in love and live grand adventures alongside these characters. I mourn many of them when the book is over.
Thank you for coming by. This Season is turning out to be one of my favorites, on par with the Season of Words and the Season of Magic.
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