vendredi 1 juillet 2016

Get Messy Season of Introspection || 04

Hello all. I am writing this at the airport, which wasn't the initial plan. Anyway, today's post will be difficult for anyone who has strong sensibilities toward animals. Not so much my pages, but the event that sparked them. Fair warning!



I used the very last pages in my book. On the right is the end cover page, a lovely Payne's Grey. I drew the woman (me) on one page then cut out the excess part of the page and repeated the figure on the other side. I loosely followed Katie's super detailled tutorial.


On the right side I collaged these mystic women and a gorgeous antilope. Around them, I drew some sacred geometry. This is a motif used to show that things are connected, much more than we think.


The journaling is a brain dump and my very first thought of the morning of last Wednesday. On Tuesday night coming back from a restaurant in Ottawa, we witnessed something that completely broke my heart.

We saw from the left a raccoon coming into the road. Immediately, I saw that she was running toward her baby that was twitching and as I turned my head to the right to see if the car in front of us had already passed, I saw that there were two more, completely immobile baby raccoons. All of this happened so quickly, the children didn't see them. My husband avoided the already dead raccoons. The car behind us to the left stopped in front of the mother and just layed unto the horn, one long drawn out sound and then many in succession. I think they were trying to scare her off the road.


How I hated being human then! How I was disgusted by our urban sprawl and unforgiving machines. I felt everything that she felt as a mother, in that shared common thread. I cried all the way to the hotel and then in the bathroom so the kids wouldn't see. I cried for that raccoon, for seeing the two limp babies and the third twitching one, for seeing her her trying to get that last baby up and off the road. I felt her panic, her distress and incomprehension.


Then everything else can flooding through and I had an emotional brain dump where all that has been going on just ran right through my body; all the stress and fear and frustration from our move, just the fact of being on all the time, of keeping track of it all. It all came out and I cried without holding back. And it felt good. I am pretty drained.


And so this is what these pages are about. I truly hope your first thought/brain dump wasn't so traumatic.

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8 commentaires:

  1. I did read it :(
    Sadly we have a lot of animal fatalities on our roads in Tasmania - wallabies, possums etc, and every day I see one my heart breaks a little more.
    Beautiful page though - and the interactivity is just amazing.

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    1. oh no! Roadkill just seems really unfair, you know?

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  2. How utterly horrible for you especially at such a stressful & emotional time - I'm always in awe as to how you so eloquently & beautifully put your pages together 💕

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    1. so sweet Gilly, thank you for always leaving such kind comments

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  3. Ta page en elle-même est très émouvante et tes explications sur l'horrible expérience que vous avez vécu est tout simplement bouleversante. Comme je te comprends !

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  4. Noooo! This is literally something I am unable to control (how I can see animal emotions) I totally feel all of what you are saying. I also can extremely relate to seeing one thing that upsets you and connecting it to everything else in life that also upsets you. A few years ago, I found my dream house and my boyfriend didn't like it. So we didn't move there. When he told me, I cried for 4 hours because I needed the release!

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    1. it was quite awful. I'm usually good about keeping it together, but this was too much

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